To the students that taught me

As a lecturer, sometimes the lines can become blurred in my student’s minds. Teaching adults can be interesting, as it is harder to maintain hard lines with huge power distances, particularly when like me, you start at a younger age than most would assume. I become their newest best friend, mother, sister or idealized girlfriend and sometimes if things don’t work out, their arch nemesis. And if I am honest, the lines can also be blurred in my mind too. Students become my causes and I root for them, I become invested in their lives and stories. Or they can become the reason I wonder why for the love of all that is good, I didn’t become a farmer instead. Seriously, farmers are incredible and sure its hard work but you don’t have to deal with students.

Over the last 11 years in my position at the head of the class (literally, because that’s where I sit), I have made many mistakes in my delivery and had to learn lessons about motivating others, being fair and having compassion. Looking out at my students over the years, I been privy to an interesting perspective on the people in my class. And for all the hundreds, maybe even more students that I have interacted with, each one holds a special place in my heart but the following are the ones that most stand out.

I have seen people cheating in exams and crying when they got caught.

I saw students flirt with each other at the start of the semester only to become angry strangers by the end, with no idea of what occurred in between.

I have had students confide secrets to me that no one else knows. Secrets that I have kept and will continue to do so.

I witnessed students fall in love over a joke they shared in my class, and semesters later I still see them holding hands in the halls.

I’ve had to mediate fights between students over group work and responsibility and personalities and preferrences.

I even had one student accuse another of rape, but despite my very best efforts, I had to respect this student’s decision to not report it. I then had that same accused student offer me a ride home…I did not take it.

There was the student who could not spell properly but walked with his dictionary and dug deep and wrote incredible essays and reflections during the class.

I have seen older students who were ashamed of being the oldest in class pull in better grades than people less than half their ages.

I saw a student come to every class, be fully engaged in the conversations each week but hand up no course work and leave with a zero grade, despite all my efforts to get her to hand in her work. I still wonder is she was even a student or just a spy from the college checking up on me.

I have had mothers with young children who begged for extensions because their child was sick.

And students who lost parents during their time with me but were strong enough to pull through the semester.

I had students drop my class because either the work was too much or they didn’t like me. I am not willing to discuss in what ratio, so don’t ask.

Others have followed me to every class I taught because I was their favorite lecturer.

I had students who were fresh out of secondary school and so timid that it took all of me to get them through the semester.

And then there were those who were so unbelievably cocky, I had to stifle a laugh when they realized college life is harder than they thought.

I’ve dealt with a students who became almost obsessive and I’ve received hate mail because I paid other students more attention than her during a particular class.

I recently met a student who I taught early on, who was wrapping up her Masters and preparing to go on to the PhD level.

I have had students who signed up for my class because someone they knew had a class with me before and told them it would be the best class ever. No pressure there…

And then others who heard a very different story about me before meeting me and were already afraid.

I’ve had students test the waters and try to engage me in inappropriate relationships both before and after I was married but the way my bank account is set up, I am incapable of playing games where my job is concerned.

There were those who were so difficult, that I had to pray that the Holy Spirit would keep me from sin before grading their work.

And those who were so amazing, that I genuinely wanted to be friends with them and wished we had met under different circumstances so we could lime.

I have had pretty girls and handsome guys who thought that their looks pre-qualified them for life and I ought to just fall in line (ask me how this worked out for them, go on ask me…)

 And I saw the most beautiful people who felt ugly and unworthy.

I saw someone who used to bully me avoid eye contact for several weeks until I had to approach her and ask her to lighten up as that time was way behind me and I wanted her to enjoy her class.

Before I drove, I had students who ensured that I got home safely every night after class, even though it meant going a little out of their way.

In my home, I have countless cards, gifts and tokens from students who at the end of class wanted to say thanks. And just to keep me grounded, I kept one particularly hateful email where I was called a….well, no need to rehash that one.

It’s been 11 years since my first class who by the way, may have been severely disadvantaged and for that I humbly apologize. Yet, I learned from every student.  Every angry, outta timing email taught me diplomacy and patience. Every sad story, and trust me, there ain’t no sad story like a ‘student missing a deadline’ sad story, taught me wisdom and discernment. And every student who thanked me for being their teacher taught me humility and gratitude. I hope to keep teaching for many years to come, but if fate should take me in other directions, I have enough stories to last until I am old and gray.